Past Year Review - Part 02

Ah.. am on a roll today with multiple blogs!

Let's just continue where we left off.

APRIL - Towards the end of March, I was the recipient of one really great news and the other was quite depressing.

First, my dad had a massive stroke one night and had to be rushed to the hospital. Needless to say I went straight back to be by his side while he was warded. During the time, he was drifting in and out of consciousness and was running high fever. I pained me so much seeing him that way, even more so knowing that there wasn't much I could do to help him apart from being there.

Mum was putting on a brave and cheerful front. I broke down at the first sight of him. I was glad however that he did regain some consciousness before I had to leave for KL.. It meant the world for me to have him know I was there...

The other news was that I had been offered a new job which started end of March. I was happy to have a permanent job again and the timing was good since I had more responsibilities now with my dad unwell. I wished that I had more time to spend with my dad then though but the company couldn't wait too long. So back in the rat race folks!

And then...

After about two weeks into my new job.. I decided to go jungle trekking and chill at a local waterfall with a group of friends & bf. It was quite a journey there as it was the F1 weekend and the chinese community was celebrating All Souls Day (i think?). Traffic was heavy but I was looking forward to a change of air. As I was trekking up the path I received a call from mom. My dad had been home for almost two weeks and she calls regularly to update me about him.

10.40am, Sunday 8 April 2007

But it was the strangest phone call.

Mom was hysterical. All I could register was "Papa dah takdak". How could it be? Dad was recuperating and improving.

Innalillah.. Somehow I was calm enough to talk and told her to settle down and I will make the calls to family. i remember just mouthing the words to my boyfriend that my dad had passed away. He asked if we should just leave, but I said to give me sometime to make the calls and accept the news.

The calls to my uncle and aunt weren't picked up so I did the next best thing and called their children. Initially my cousin was happy to hear from me and I felt bad for having to break the news to them. Everyone was in total shock.

After awhile, we decided to rush back and I would take the flight home. The moment I closed the door to my apartment I just broke down. I couldn't believe it.. I had so much to tell and share with him about my new life. He couldn't wait for me..

Somehow mom managed to organize everything so that the burial can be carried out after Asar prayers. It was a challenge getting to airport as the crowd was jamming up the airport roads. They waited for me anyhow so that I can see him one last time at the cemetery.. A close friend picked me up from the airport since everyone was already gathered at the cemetery. There were no tears. I just wanted to see him.

The moment I reached there and started running, I saw my parent's close friend waiting to guide me and he whispered 'takpa jangan berebut.. sabar ya..'

Felt like time stood still as I saw my mom first then everyone else. Then I came beside the coffin.. My mom's cousin said gently, "don't cry when we show you his face for the last time. Tears shouldn't touch him. " I nodded and took my time before they opened the veil.. Ya Allah, bless him. He looked beautiful. I kissed him goodbye...

The rest of the days went like a blur to me. I was happy he was free from his pain. In every way. He left to be in a better place and we saw it in his face. Mom told me he left peacefully with her by his side..

I wasn't close to my dad in my childhood because he was strict and never easy on us. But I do remember Saturdays watching English football and tending the garden in the afternoons with him. His favorite past time fishing.. his favorite coffee.. favorite curry and laksa. He was a simple and humble man.. He had gone through so much in his last years and I am glad we had a better relationship as the years went by. I had decided at one point then that I needed to make that change. I made it a point to communicate with my parents and improve things. I wanted them to know I care and love them.

It was time to start a new chapter in my life...